Making an Ass Out of, Uh, Me and Me

You’ve heard that saying “Never assume. It makes an ASS out of U and ME.” Lately, I’ve been making an ass out of me and me. Let me explain:

Last year, I covered my kitchen floor with cookbook pages.

Kitchen floor

It took a long time to finish, so I didn’t use my garbage disposal for months. The next time I did try to use it, I flipped the switch and heard…nothing. Since it was almost 15 years old, I assumed it had reached the end of its life and would have to be replaced. OK, I thought, I’ll replace it one of these days. Then the sink stopped draining. Now there was no putting off replacing the garbage disposal.

I was talking to Bossman Mike about it, and he asked if I had pushed the reset button. Of course not! Since there was no sound when I turned on the switch, I had assumed it was dead. He said, “Push the reset button and use the little allen wrench to turn the blades before you go out and buy a new disposal.” He’s the boss ,so I went home and tried it. Guess what? It totally worked. I had forgotten that the pit from an olive or date had fallen down the drain a while back and I decided to leave it there rather than risk reaching down and feeling around for it. I like my fingers, you know? Now that the blade is unjammed, the disposal works just fine. Go figure.

You would think I had learned my lesson, but then you’d be assuming, too. When I got home from work Wednesday, the house felt chilly, so I went to the thermostat to bump up the heat a bit. The display was blank. Nothing. Nada. I tried pressing the Reset button. Nope. Did the thermostat die, or did the furnace die? I turned the fan setting from Auto to On, and the furnace started up, but the air it was blowing wasn’t very warm. Of course I assumed the worst: I would have to spend thousands of dollars that I didn’t have to replace my furnace, and do it over Thanksgiving weekend.

I called my handy-dandy neighbor, who suggested replacing the thermostat first to see if that was the problem. So off I went to Home Depot. I picked out a thermostat and read the features on the back. OK, it had everything I needed, but wait a minute. What’s this at the bottom about needing a battery? I didn’t know thermostats used batteries! I bought the thermostat in case I needed it and picked up a package of batteries. When I got home, I opened the old thermostat, and sure enough, there were two AA batteries. I changed the batteries and put the cover back on, and presto! A working display and a warm house, all for the price of two batteries.

All of this has taught me that when something goes wrong around the house, I need to step back, take a few deep breaths, and take a minute to think logically about what the problem could be before I freak out and assume the worst. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to Home Depot. I have a thermostat to return.

When have you assumed the worst and had it turn out OK? Share it in the comments!

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