Happy Birthday, gb

We met in 2007 when I walked into the restaurant where he worked, and I was in love the moment I saw him. He was so shy then, blushing and looking away whenever I smiled at him. I’m shy about talking to guys, so it took a few weeks before we even started talking, and even longer before we started talking on the phone. When his parents went back to their country for a few months, he started coming over to see me. He comes from a country where they have arranged marriages, and he’s a lot younger than I am, so we agreed that we would hang out together until his parents came back. But when they did come back, he told me that he didn’t want to stop seeing me, so we kept seeing each other.

We ended up staying together for 4 1/2 years. We went through so much together in that time: he finished his second Bachelors degree and his Masters, his family opened and closed a restaurant, my uncle and grandmother died, and I went on Jeopardy. Despite the age difference, our minds were on the same wavelength, and we fell deeply in love. Yet we knew we could never get married. If he hadn’t been so much younger than me, he would have resisted his family’s expectation that he would have an arranged marriage, but the nearly 20 years between us was just too much. I finally ended the relationship because I knew I needed to move on and find someone I could have a real future with. It was devastating for both of us. I cried for days; he took it really hard as well, even though we knew it had to happen.

He always worried about me living by myself, so even after we broke up, we texted a few times a week. Almost a year after we broke up, he went back to his country to get married. When he told me he had found someone to marry, I didn’t take it well. I was finally forced to admit to myself that we would never be together. But as long as she was still in their country waiting for her visa, I could forget that he was married to someone else. She finally got her visa and came here in June. Just before she arrived, I told him that we shouldn’t text each other any more. As much as I wish I could be with him, I don’t want to cause any problems for him, and I’m sure his wife doesn’t want his ex-girlfriend around.

Two and a half years after we broke up, I’m still trying to get over him. I’ve never had such a connection with someone, and I doubt I ever will again. He’s one of the few people where I care more about his best interest more than my own. I trust him completely, and I know I’ll never find anyone like him. So on your 32nd birthday, I wish nothing but happiness for you, my dear, sweet, wonderful, loveable, huggable, kissable gb. Ma timilai maya garchu.

 

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